Today M and I were joking around and I started dancing because he has always talked about my lack of skills in that department. Honestly, I have no rhythm whatsoever and I blame my mom. She’s an awful dancer as well. In fact I went to her 25-year college reunion and her friends made it a point to tell me just how awful she was. Anyway I’m dancing and you can see my belly that is when M says, “I’m sorry Little Man did that to you”. It caught me off guard for a second and then I said, “It’s fine I’m just glad to have him”.
This got me thinking. I used to be so appearance obsessed. I had to have the perfect hair, nice clothes, designer things, flat stomach etc etc. I remember when I gained 8 pounds after my first year of college and I lay in bed crying saying how ugly I was while M tried to console me. For weeks I would wake up in the middle of the night a wreck because I felt unattractive. I didn’t want to wear a bathing suit that summer and I started eating Special K cereal only and working out for an hour 2x a day. Now none of these things seem to matter anymore.
After the birth of Little Man my stomach was not the same anymore. Even after working out religiously, eating right, and losing 60 pounds my stomach still looks like a little pouch. Not to mention the stretch marks that seem to plague my once cute belly piercing that is now M.I.A. All I know is that when I look in the mirror instead of feeling depressed and thinking like my life is over like I once would have I feel proud that my body supported another life. And although I may never be able to wear the cute string bikinis again I’ve learned the big lesson that there is more to life than superficial things and that’s something worth being happy about.
<3 Kim
No comments:
Post a Comment